It hit me today, that part of my “issue” at the moment is how I see myself. This has nothing to do with the fact that I need to lose a few kgs, or that I wish I was a little taller, or that my hair rarely does what I want it to at any given time. It more has to do with being stagnant in an image of myself that simply no longer exists.
For many years, I was the Vintage Girl, the Retro Diva, the Nostalgic Doll. The girl who lived for glam dresses, victory rolls, and the perfect shade of red lipstick. This was not ALL of who I was, but it was how I saw myself as I related to the world around me. I loved being that girl. But I think that I need to move on from that vision of myself.
I still love all the vintage things! Movies, music, fashion, the quirky gadgets, and of course the perfect red lipstick. I think, however, that I need to evolve with my circumstances. For some people, they can be the Vintage Girl forever, and that’s great. In fact, I’m a little jealous. That doesn’t change the fact that my lifestyle just doesn’t fit with that anymore.
I think coming to terms with the changes, however gradual they have been, has been awkward for me. Being reticent of letting go of how I thought I should be, purely because it’s how I have been for so long, now seems really silly. I should be embracing myself, loving how I am, no matter what face I show to the world. I may not always deck out in vintage gear anymore, but that doesn’t change who I am. I still love styling my hair, when I get the chance. I’m always on the hunt for the perfect red lipstick. I’d still rather swing out than rock out. There are new things in my life though, different things. They may include Doc Marten boots and Converse All Stars, rather than wedge sandals. I may end up with more than one pair of jeans in my wardrobe, as well as my skirts. I may be on the lookout for the perfect jacket, and it wont matter if it’s wool or leather.
However I end up, however I get there. I aim to be happy with my look, with how I present myself to the world. I aim to embrace it all, rather than worrying that I’m letting anyone down by not being the “Vintage Grrl” that I used to be.